Monday, June 7, 2010

Does your online dating profile sound like an instruction manual?

pare me the online dating profiles that have a list of “musts”. I’m sure you’ve seen them, they’re on every single dating site from PerfectMatch to Match.com.

They go like this:

You:

Must be able to carry on an intelligent conversation.

Must be as comfortable dressed up as you are dressed down.

Must have a career but not be married to it.

Must be financially secure and independent.

Funny how none of these profiles have “You must tolerate my controlling, obnoxious and clearly overbearing personality.” on their lists.

Amongst one woman’s absurdly long list, was: “you must not leave the table to go snort cocaine.” What does that even mean? Is she saying it’s okay to snort coke as long it doesn’t interfere with her entrée?

This approach is as demanding and impersonal as the “qualifications” section on job applications. You probably couldn’t pay someone enough to put up with that on a daily basis.

Believe it or not, mistakes like these are very common on online dating profiles because most people have a difficult time writing objectively.

So, here’s a profile tip: instead of a list, make your point in a positive way. If you say you enjoy intelligent conversation, it’s clear that you’re looking for someone who can carry one on. If you say you like to dress up as much as you like to dress down, it’s clear you’re looking for someone who’s as comfortable with both as you are In other words, list your interests rather than your demands. Better still, hire me to do your online dating profile.

Is this the day your Soulmate shows up in your inbox? Guest Post

Is this the day your Soulmate shows up in your inbox? Guest Post

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Is this the day your Soulmate shows up in your inbox? Guest Post

Is this the day your Soulmate shows up in your inbox? Guest Post

Does your online #dating profile sound like an instruction manual?

Spare me the online dating profiles that have a list of “musts”. I’m sure you’ve seen them, they’re on every single dating site from PerfectMatch to Match.com.

They go like this:

You:

Must be able to carry on an intelligent conversation.

Must be as comfortable dressed up as you are dressed down.

Must have a career but not be married to it.

Must be financially secure and independent.

Funny how none of these profiles have “You must tolerate my controlling, obnoxious and clearly overbearing personality.” on their lists.

Amongst one woman’s absurdly long list, was: “you must not leave the table to go snort cocaine.” What does that even mean? Is she saying it’s okay to snort coke as long it doesn’t interfere with her entrée?

This approach is as demanding and impersonal as the “qualifications” section on job applications. You probably couldn’t pay someone enough to put up with that on a daily basis.

Believe it or not, mistakes like these are very common on online dating profiles because most people have a difficult time writing objectively.

So, here’s a profile tip: instead of a list, make your point in a positive way. If you say you enjoy intelligent conversation, it’s clear that you’re looking for someone who can carry one on. If you say you like to dress up as much as you like to dress down, it’s clear you’re looking for someone who’s as comfortable with both as you are In other words, list your interests rather than your demands. Better still, hire me to do your online dating profile.

“My, what a long arm you have!” and other drawbacks of taking your own dating profile picture

You know those motivational books that tell you to smile at yourself in the mirror every day? Few people ever take the advice. Know why? Because it feels really silly.

Unless you’re Anthony Robbins flashing yourself a smile can feel forced and awkward – and it shows. This is precisely why you shouldn’t take your own online dating profile picture.

I scan hundreds of dating profiles on all the major sites from Match.com to POF to Jdate. No one takes a good self-portrait. Aside from the telltale arm that sticks out, the smile itself looks unnatural. Even Sara Palin can do a better job of looking genuine.

So, rather than look like you’re one laugh line away from becoming another Anthony or Sara, I suggest you go out with a friend, have fun, then take a few shots. Stay out longer, have fun longer, then take a few more shots – on that note, a B-52 or a Sex On The Beach could do wonders! Eventually you’ll be comfortable enough to get a good picture. Also, don’t take all your pictures on the same day. That too looks contrived. Instead, switch it up and have fun doing it